Can't Turn Back Now, I'm Haunted

Going back and forth between hopeful, hysterical, and numb.

I don't feel like typing any of my feelings out. Right now I'm in a state of just really not caring about anything.

Work is my reason to wake up. Minutes pass and I'm surviving because I'm occupied at work.

I'm going out drinking tonight. Hopefully will have fun.

But this morning I texted him. And I said I didn't want to lose him again, we could still be close without seeing each other or having a title, blah blah. He brushed me off but still ended the conversation with an "I love you".

He wants to be alone. At this current moment in time, I do too.

But I get scared as soon as I feel like I am really losing him.

I still don't know if I really want to move on or if I want this to be a break until I figure this out.

I loved him so much. He's my best friend.

I am repetitive. Right now, I am exhausted. As is he.

I don't care right now

I don't care