Crying In My Car Again

i am on my phone, so my capitalization and grammar will suffer. this post also will probably not match the rest of the page.

i just... i don't know. i deserve this, right? i made the mistake of allowing myself to have feelings for two different men at once.

just because i loved one more and eventually chose to focus on him alone does not mean my feelings entirely dissolved for the other guy.

i mistreated both of them. i was a terrible person.

so of course i deserve for the one i loved to already be saying he plans on dating in a couple of months. and of course i deserve for the other one i really liked to have found a new girlfriend in a month's time.

i brought this on my self.

but why am i so goddamn easily replaceable? 

this is my punishment. this is what follows what i have done. i hurt two different people with my own selfish actions.

i need to suck it up and take this. because i asked for it when i did what i did.

and i need to learn from this.

i just hope i don't regret my actions for the rest of my life.