Forgot to mention yesterday that one thing he told me is that he is angry. That I said too many hurtful things that he is not over. And when I asked if he still cared about me, he told me I was only asking to feed my ego.
I texted him a couple more times, the last message saying that I would like for him to text back saying he has no desire to get back with me or have me in his life. Still, no reply. My best friend says he didn't need to reply, as he has already told me he does not want to get back with me and shouldn't need to repeat himself again.
My goal now is to go a whole week without contacting him. Maybe if I can set a goal, it is easier to achieve success is not being obsessive. And then maybe after that week, I won't want to contact him again, anyway.
I have an appointment with a counselor on Wednesday. I hope they help me figure out why I can't let go, and why I jump from relationship to relationship and treat the ones I care about so badly.
Yesterday, my coworker mentioned that she is a lot like her father. I love my father, but he is not the nicest, most open and compassionate person. It makes me wonder if I also treat people the way I do because of my father and how I was raised. My coworker told me to break the cycle.
I do not feel confident today. I miss him again. I feel like crying. We have been broken up about a month now, and I still have made little to no progress in moving on.
I'm tired of being a fool.
I will try to make a conscious effort to be happy today. I just need to focus on this week.
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