Crying hysterically again. Can barely breathe. Back at the beginning, I guess.
Me and my ex were talking every day and I knew it was a bad idea. I just knew it.
And today I told him I thought we needed distance so we could move on. It seemed to upset him and then he just seemed fine with it. It got me upset. It turned into a fight. A really, really ugly fight.
I said a lot of horribly terrible things that he just stopped responding to.
I think I knew I had to make him hate me to get us to stop talking so I could heal.
I didn't want it to come to this.
Why couldn't he have just never left me? Why did he want to hold on to me if he didn't want me back?
He's got to hate me now.
It's really, truly over. I couldn't end it before it got ugly.
I don't think there's any good memories left. No good feelings left to feel.
We had to hate each other to let go.
And it is hurting me so, so bad.
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